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Sep 08 2013

5 Annoying things you hear when you say, “I don’t want kids”

quotes about not having childrenIt’s no secret that couples today are waiting until later in life to have children in order to focus on their careers or travel the world. Other than the occasional “don’t wait too long” comment, these couples usually don’t get much criticism for their decision to wait.

But when someone asks me about children, I always dread answering because my “I don’t want kids” answer always garners a gasp of shock and loads of criticism.

I’ve been picked on enough for my decision not to have kids that I’ve compiled a list of the 5 most annoying things I’ve heard.

1. “Wait till your biological clock starts ticking”

The infamous “biological clock” is by far the most common response I get to my polite “no thanks” to babies. That’s why it earns its place in the #1 spot on this list.

Granted I’m just under 30, but I have yet to hear my biological clock scream out, “BABY! Must have baby!” (That’s what they sound like, right? A hungry caveman? I don’t know, I’m speculating.)

I’ve asked people what this “biological clock” feels like, so I know to recognize it if it ever starts shouting at me. And the consensus seems to be, “You see a baby, and you just want to hold it” (creepy) “and then you get overwhelmed by a desire to have your own” (nope, definitely haven’t had that feeling).

2. “If you make good money and can afford kids, you should have one”

The other day, I was chatting with some colleagues and someone said, “People who make good money and can afford to provide a good life for a child, but choose not to have one…. scare me.”

“Scare me” is what she said.

I was intrigued, so I asked why. And apparently, the opinion is that women should feel a duty to bear children if they have the means to give that child a good life.

My response was simple. Just because I have the money to feed and clothe my potential spawn, it doesn’t mean I’d be a good mother. I could buy my kid all the quality organic food in the world and pay for the best education around, but still drop the bloody thing on its head (by accident of course)… simply because I’m not a good mother.

The truth is: some people just don’t have those parental instincts everyone keeps talking about. And even if I had some of those instincts, it doesn’t mean I should have children.

quotes about not having kids

3. “People who don’t want kids are selfish”

This is probably one of the most offensive comments I’ve heard when I say, “I don’t want kids.” It usually goes like this, “Your parents had you, so you would give them grandchildren. We were made to procreate. Choosing not to have children is just plain selfish.”

Knowing what I know about myself, I don’t think I’m being selfish by choosing not to have children. In fact, having a child knowing I don’t want kids – is selfish. So until (or unless) that feeling changes, I’m not going to let anyone peer pressure me into having children.

You know what IS selfish?

  • Having kids to try and “save your marriage” and then putting those kids through an ugly divorce
  • Having kids so your boyfriend doesn’t leave you (because we all know how well that works)
  • Having kids because your spouse threatened to leave you if you don’t
  • Having kids so that you can go on maternity leave for a year
  • Having kids just so your parents and in-laws will stop nagging you about it

Should I continue?

4. “Don’t you want a little version of yourself running around?”

If you really knew me, you wouldn’t want a little version of me running around either. Trust me.

5. “You could give birth to the next Bill Gates!”

This comment usually goes hand-in-hand with, “You could give birth to the doctor who cures cancer” or “Your child could be the next prime minister.” Though it’s true I could give birth to someone who could change the world for the better, it’s also possible that I could give birth to the next serial killer.

quotes about not having kids

4 comments

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  1. Leigh Hubbard

    My sister is very adamant about not wanting children. She isn’t the one to “have to hold the baby” and she doesn’t coo about them either. My sister is not broken. My sister is a responsible person. A person who does not want children… shouldn’t have them. I admire and respect my sister for knowing herself and acting responsibly to prevent pregnancy.

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      I agree completely!! Good for your sister for 1) knowing what she wants and 2) sticking to her guns regardless of what anyone says. Not every woman was born to procreate. Some of us have other goals in mind. As long as you’re making the decisions that are best for you and make you happy in the long run. I couldn’t agree more. Nice to know others share the same opinion :) Thanks for stopping by. Come back anytime and leave a comment!

  2. Nina Johnson

    OMG thank you for this (shared on FB)

    Re: “You see a baby, and you just want to hold it” (creepy) “and then you get overwhelmed by a desire to have your own” (nope, definitely haven’t had that feeling).

    Honestly, I see a baby and I kind of hope no one asks me to hold it, but I always will if they do. Secondly, “overwhelmed by desire to have your own”? Yeah, that’s never ever happened, especially when holding one. I’m usually so relieved that I can give it back to it’s parent so I have no responsibility.

    If that’s not the exact opposite of maternal, I don’t know what is. I’m 34 so I’m pretty sure my biological clock either never existed or the battery is weak and it’s about to die.

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Hey, sorry for the late reply. But good for you! At least you know what you want and DON’T want. And you’re standing up for yourself. I know the feeling. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
      Joanne recently posted…Ladies, what NOT to do if you’re trying to get laid

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