A week has gone by since my dear diary post about the “bad week” pattern I’ve been on. I’m not sure if it’s just a phase or what, but it seems my rough weeks don’t want to end. So rather than sulk in the crappiness of each day, I decided to counterattack bad days with good ol’ sarcasm.
I came across some funny and sarcastic quotes recently that seem to perfectly describe each moment of my day-to-day life. Many of you could probably relate to these sarcastic quotes too, and hopefully they will inspire you to laugh about life. Let’s face it, sometimes sarcasm is the best way to retaliate against a crappy day.
Most mornings, I wake up looking like this:
I am NOT a morning person at all. Every weekday that I wake up, I look and feel like the angry ball of fuzz you see above. Yes, my hair does look like that. And yes, I do want to kill everyone.
But after I wash my face, I start my day with this thought:
Most days, I really do start off thinking it’s going to be a good day. You gotta have a positive outlook on life to experience positive things, right? (Or so they say) So after the urge to kill everyone wears off, I try to be all Zen about my day. Keyword here is “try.”
Then I get stuck in traffic, and I feel like this:
Even though I drive on 3 different highways to get to work, my commute isn’t that bad. It just gets bad when I sometimes get stuck in no-good-reason traffic with idiots who can’t drive.
When I finally get to work LATE, sometimes this happens to me:
When I get to work late, my usual parking spot is gone. So I have to drive around the lot looking for a spot. My patience is pushed when a free parking spot right by the entrance turns out to be a tin can with wheels.
When I get to my desk and open my inbox, I want to do this:
What’s even MORE annoying is when this happens:
One of my favourite sarcastic quotes! We all have that annoying co-worker who sends us an email, calls us right after, walks over to our desks, and then emails us again… all within 10 minutes!
When I finally get through my emails and list my to-do’s, I say this to myself:
Surprisingly, I’m most productive and creative after a drink or two. (God, I miss beer cart Fridays!) It’s how I got through school, balancing school and work, and many take-home projects.
Instead I use music to help me concentrate, but sometimes this happens:
Sometimes I wear earphones even though there’s no music playing. And I purposely ignore anyone who calls my name just so everyone would leave me alone. Admit it – you do it too!
As I’m racing my deadlines, I start to think:
I actually like deadlines because they keep me on track and give me something to work towards. But pathetically losing a race against my deadlines is definitely discouraging.
Finally, when it’s all said and done, I sometimes think:
This sarcastic quote made me laugh out loud (literally). I think we’ve all sat in long pointless meetings or received strange brain-fart emails, which resulted in the execution of weird, pointless projects. Why? Just why?
One of my biggest pet peeves is lazy people:
Don’t you hate it when you’re super busy at work, but people around you are chatting about their kids, spouses, pets or other random topics? Then they go for 30-minute smoke breaks, 2-hour lunches, and leave an hour early.
But since I can’t strangle them, I instead go home and drink…
This is my favourite part of coming home after a crappy day.
But before I make it home, road rage kicks in again:
Another great sarcastic quote! We’ve all encountered someone like this on the road. What was the point of cutting me off, jackass? Seriously, what was the point? Now you’re at the same red light as me.