Astrology had a sarcastic sense of humour today


I don’t take horoscopes too seriously, but I do have a horoscope app on my phone, which I read most mornings before work. It’s only in good fun since the daily predictions are always so vague that you could interpret them to fit any situation in your life.

But today, my horoscope was pretty specific.

And it missed the mark so far that I’m starting to think astrology has a mean and sarcastic sense of humour.

Let’s go through my horoscope for today and dissect how callously it decided to mock me. Shall we?

“Gemini, the future is unclear. That is as it should be. Be open to the possibilities.”

Vague. At first glance, this horoscope appeared to be another harmless and generic description like the others. But keep reading…

“All that hard work you’ve been doing lately?”

Yes, in fact I have been working extra hard lately. It seems ever since I came back from Punta Cana in early December, I’ve been putting in almost 10 hours a day. It’s been busy.

“Believe it or not, even though they haven’t said anything yet, it hasn’t gone unnoticed in the eyes of the powers that be.”

Okay, I’ve been working my ass off every day since I started, and the “powers that be” have never noticed. Not once. Ever. Did they notice my hard work today? Nope.

“In fact, you could be due for a raise or bonus.”

Ha! …Let’s move on.

“Better dress appropriately for work today.”

Umm, yeah. I wore jeans and a hoody. It was casual Friday and there was no way in hell I was getting a raise today. Good one, astrology! You’re cute.

“You’re about to have your fifteen minutes of fame, and you know you’ve earned it.”

Well, I was stuck at the office a half hour longer than I wanted. And as a result, I was stuck in snowy traffic for an hour and a half longer. I definitely didn’t get my fifteen minutes of fame, but I did lose 2 hours of my life tonight.

“So feel free to strut your stuff. And don’t forget to celebrate!”

Oh, I’m celebrating all right… celebrating the end of another work-week with a glass of wine!

That was my horoscope for today. Clearly, it missed the mark big time. I’m not sure if astrology was showing some irony, a sense of humour, or if it was just being a little bitch today.


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