What changes when you start living together? Oh about everything

living togetherAfter 3 weeks of marriage, people ask me: “So how does it feel to be a married woman?”

My response: “The same… except now I get half his stuff and it’ll cost him money to leave me.”

Really, nothing’s changed. We lived together for a year and a half before we got married, so everything felt the same.

I think living together is what causes the most change in a relationship (other than having a child, which I’ve never experienced). For couples who live together before marriage, signing some papers really doesn’t lead to much of a change in feelings, routines or habits. For couples who get married and then move in together, get ready for some major changes.

From sleeping over to cohabitation

You go from playing sleepover every weekend to being with each other everyday. Living together means merging your lives, belongings and routines together under one roof. This changes your relationship and gives you a lot more responsibilities – to each other and your home.

From my living space to our living space

I have an arguably abnormal obsession with throw pillows. I’m also pretty anal about how the bathroom mats are arranged. And I’m sure my husband likes things organized a certain way too. Couples who live together learn very quickly their differing opinions on organizing their living space.

From my dishes to our dishes… plus pots, pans and more

Doing the dishes, cooking and cleaning become shared duties once you move in together. You go from “I need to do the dishes before you come over” to “it’s your turn.” The domestic duties don’t always need to be split 50/50. How your household chores are divided will depend on you and your significant other. But nonetheless, your chores will change when you live together.

From regular dates to more quiet evenings at home

Dating couples tend to spend a lot of time going on “dates.” This includes going out for dinners or to watch movies. But once you start living together, spending quality time as a couple usually involves staying indoors. This means less “getting ready” for your big date and more “lounging around” in comfy pants.

From having sex every minute to not every minute

Couples who only see each other a few times a week tend to have (what seems to be) endless sex every chance they get. There’s no doubt that living together changes your sex life. You no longer need to “maximize” your time together since you have all the time in the world living under one roof.

couples living together before marriageSo the question: should couples live together before marriage?

Everyone has an opinion on the topic. It’s no secret that I’m an advocate of living together before making it legal.

It’s true that living together allows couples to “play house.” But is that so wrong? Is it wrong for couples to experience what it’s like to share household chores, bills and other domestic duties before legally tying the knot? Some will probably disagree with me. We’ve all heard the saying, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”

First of all, don’t compare me to a farm animal. Secondly, you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it, would you? Marriage is a big decision. You ought to make that decision with all the necessary information.

I definitely think it’s a good idea to live together before marriage. What do you think?


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    • millinka on May 5, 2013 at 11:38 pm
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    This was a nice post. I would read the relationship advice blog here. Nice job!

    1. Thanks for stopping by!

  1. Hey thanks for sharing the relationship advice with us.
    Rajnish Tandon recently posted…How to Deal with Gas Pain during Pregnancy

    1. Hey, thanks for dropping by. I’ll be sure to check out your blog too!

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