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Jan 18 2014

Topics you apparently shouldn’t discuss with your mother-in-law

all you need is love and a bottle of wineEarlier this winter, Craig and I went to his parent’s place to get our cars fixed and winter tires put on. My father-in-law is a mechanic, which (I gotta be honest) was one of the reasons why I married my husband… just after money and has nice eyebrows (kidding).

While the guys were in the garage, I spent about 8 hours hanging out with my mother-in-law.

Granted I spent some of those hours napping and pretending to nap, a good chunk of time WAS spent engaging in good old mother/daughter-in-law conversation… over a bottle of wine.

Recounting the conversation back to Craig the next day, I learned that apparently there are some things about your husband that are awkward to discuss with his mother.  (Who knew?)

What were his ex-girlfriends like?

I was probably half-way done my second glass when I thought, “What the hell? It’d be nice to get the opinion of his ex-girlfriends from someone other than Craig.”  

So I asked her what his exes were like, and without hesitation, she went through and described them all for me: the ones that she really liked to the ones that made her shake her head and ask why. She was probably on her second glass too, so there was no holding back. And I loved her honesty.

wine talking, but i love wine

What did you think of his last girlfriend?

This was the most serious relationship before me and the one I was most interested in hearing about. The feedback seemed to be: lack of motivation, very immature, hadn’t figured herself out yet – oh, and very unattractive. Her overall feedback (for lack of a better phrase) was simply, “I just didn’t see it.”

How long do you think they were together?

Most of what she described about his last ex was in line with what Craig told me. So there were no surprises, except when she said, “They were only together for a couple of years.”

I remember Craig said he didn’t bring her home until much later in the relationship, but in my tipsied, 3rd-glass-of-wine state, my memory failed me and I blurted out, “No, they were together for like 4 years!”

“FOUR? So he didn’t introduce her to us until 2 years later?”

I took another sip and we moved on.

mother-in-law quotes, that awkward moment you share too much

How many girlfriends do you know about?

As she was going through the girlfriends and detailing what she thought of each one, I noticed that she forgot one. Then she forgot another. “This doesn’t match what Craig told me,” I thought. Then she ended her monologue with, “He’s only had a few girlfriends before you.”

(Oh dear mother-in-law, how you’re mistaken again.)

Now well beyond tipsied, I said, “He’s dated more girls than that.”

“He has? More than 3?”

“Like 9.”

“NINE?!”

“Nine.”

family quotes, wine quotes, house runs best on love, laughter and wine

As the bottle of wine was coming to an end (and I realized how much I may have over-shared about my husband), I decided to shift gears a little and end the night on a different subject. We steered to light chatter about work, travels, and family. Before I knew it, it was 10 pm and we had talked for hours.

By then, the guys were done with the cars and it was time to go home. Craig was surprised that we spent that much time together, and was even curious if we ran out of things to talk about. To his surprise, no. We had plenty of topics to keep ourselves entertained, most of which he argued were “inappropriate” to discuss with his mother.

I’ll give him this one. He was probably right.

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