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May 22 2013

Dear crazy ex-girlfriend who won’t leave us alone

crazy ex-girlfriend quotesDear crazy ex-girlfriend,

The first time you went all whack-job on us with your obsessive phone calls and barrage of “we need to talk” messages, I understood. I really did. Like any girl after a relationship ends, you needed closure.

The second and third times you went manic, your angry messages claiming you “wasted 4 years of your life” were politely greeted with, “Please leave us alone. It’s time to move on.”

After months of silence, it seemed you finally moved on with your life. Wrong.

By the fourth time you phone stalked us with your “I want to talk to your fiancéethreats followed by “you’re a coward” insults… enough was enough.

At that point, I felt no more sympathy for you.

Since you demanded to talk to me, I made myself available for whatever you needed to get off your chest. But when given the opportunity to speak to me, you had nothing to say. Nothing.

A month after we got married, you resurfaced again with another out-of-the-blue message. We gave you another chance to get whatever you needed off your chest, but you responded with nothing. Again.

Here’s what seems to be your pattern: You drink = you get cocky and start phone stalking us. You sober up = you realize how pathetic you look and respond with silence.

So my message to you, desperate ex-girlfriend, is simply this:

Stay the hell out of our lives. Or grow a pair and say whatever it is you have to say and leave us alone for good. I understand you’re still upset after all these years. But seriously bitch, your desperate drunken messages to a now married man are an embarrassment for women everywhere.

It’s time to move on.

And probably time to quit drinking. You always look like an idiot when you do.

Sincerely,
His new wife.

31 comments

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  1. Emily

    Love the letter, love the picture. Simply brilliant!

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Thanks! It did feel good to get that off my chest. Thanks for dropping by!

  2. Carol

    This is classic. And something I’m currently or have been going through for years… off and on. kudos 🙂

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Glad you enjoyed. Too bad you’re going through the same thing. Some girls just don’t know when to let go. Thanks for stopping by!
      Joanne recently posted…Why do relatives feel “entitled” to be part of people’s weddings?

  3. CrossFit equipment

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  4. flaorence

    My name is Florence from England, would want to tell you all that I was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because I never wanted it to happen. I don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, I tried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, I had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad I did. Because if not for the help of spell, I don’t know what would have become of me by now because I loved my husband so much that I couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. I just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. should email Dr tessy on ([email protected]) was were I got the help to restore my marriage.

    1. elodia

      ur crazy he still dont love u should be ashame of urself

  5. Ashley

    *Sign* My fiance’s crazy ex keeps on attacking us by posting untrue stories and all are bad. We got restraining order from her and it expired last year. Since then, she starts posting and even on his company website now. I don’t know what to do. Anyone please help. I’m in my second trimester and really do not want any more stress….

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Whoa… that chick sounds nuts! Did you try getting another restraining order? Have you tried telling her to leave you alone yourself (rather than your fiancee doing it)? My husband was way too nice, so she didn’t get the message. Luckily, I have no problem telling someone where I think they can go lol. Try not to stress about it though. Good luck!

      1. Ashley

        No, my husband (now :)) did not want her to know about me and our little girl as she would make our lives miserable. She actually tried to take him to court again with all kind of made-up stories written on paper and filed with court. Then we got served by a sheriff but she did not show up at the hearing.

        She has been quite since after Christmas now…

        1. Random Dysfunctions

          Wow, that’s nuts! Well at least the crazy has calmed itself down since Christmas. We blocked our crazy and since then she’s been quiet (obviously since none of her calls or messages have gotten through). Lol.

  6. Yupyeah

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      lol glad you agree! Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Chiko

    awesome! some girls should learn not to run after guys most certainly if they’re married ones.

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Exactly! It’s just not classy and really an embarrassment to other women. But what can you do? Some girls can’t let go.

  8. elodia

    love it

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Thanks for stopping by! If you liked this post, you should check out my “douchebag who cheated on me” post 🙂
      Joanne recently posted…Talking to your significant other about his ex-girlfriends

  9. Jane of the Jungle

    Holy COW. I was going through the same thing! It was awful> My husband’s ex would freak out if she saw us holding hands in public. She worked at a local grocery store we go to and told him not to hold hands with me in the store!

    They had been broken up for 2 years before we even started dating!

    She then befriended his sister (who apparently hated her during their relationship) as well as the rest of his family and started wanting to come around for family events! It put me in an awful position with his family!
    For her birthday, they went to my friend’s place of work…she’s a bartender. They introduced my best friend to his ex and she hung on my friend all night saying that myself and my husband should be there and she doesn’t know why I don’t like her. She also gave my best friend her phone number and asked her to hang out with her.
    WTF???
    A bunch of my husband’s friends approached me and told me how screwed up the whole situation was and that my husband should put a stop to it.

    i have to admit, part of me thought the whole thing was just so f’ed up, that it was entertaining!
    They seemed to think it was ok to have her at family events! My friends/his friends/my family all thought the situation was RIDICULOUS!

    I later learned after they finally cut her out (again), that she had been asking a friend of his all of these questions about me…like “Do you really think she’s THAT pretty?” and months later texted his friend that she was finally over my husband.
    Whew…HONEY took you 7 years but you made it! You’re finally over my husband.

    I would love to write a letter to her. I actually felt kind of sorry for her. She has a few screws loose!

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      What. The. Hell. Seriously?! After 7 years of being stalked by this chick she finally says “I’m over your husband”? This is your HUSBAND! Not some boyfriend or guy you’re seeing. You’re married now! I totally understand. It’s so embarressing! This girl sounds crazy! It makes me wonder what our men ever saw in these crazy bitches in the first place lol.

  10. Catherine

    Wow -she sounds like she just doesn’t know when to give up! Good on you for getting that off your chest -hopefully she reads the message and finally gets it! Sometimes it can be really difficult moving on and you were very tolerant in the beginning but still stalking after he’s got married -that’s too far! Hope she stops calling you know and just lets things be. Good luck! 🙂

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Hi Catherine, thanks for the comment. Well she “kind of” stopped. This just means the last time she texted was a couple of months ago. And it was a simple, non-harrassing message, not like the previous ones where she demanded to talk to me ans screamed about wasting her time. But still. I’m just so annoyed and can’t figure out how to get rid of her for good. Arghh!

  11. tina

    bravo 🙂 i love this!! brave & intelligent – way to go to the NEW WIFEY!! 🙂

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Haha, thanks. Felt good to get that off my chest. Glad you were entertained by my rant. Good thing is she’s finally out of the picture (hopefully forever!).

  12. Johne363

    I think this is a real great blog post.Much thanks again. cakedagddbcg

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Thanks for stopping by. Appreciate it!
      Joanne recently posted…Ladies, what NOT to do if you’re trying to get laid

  13. skara

    I can identify with this!! The trail of emotions you describe are the exact ones I have felt. My husband’s ex-girlfriend hasn’t stopped texting or calling him in the 4 years that we have been together!! He doesn’t reply but she keeps at it. Lately, it has escalated to the point of psychosis. I don’t know whether to laugh or be very afraid 😛
    He finally told her last week that he has been married for two years. She, of course, went insane but ended that barrage of messages by wishing us good luck. That was followed by a message asking him not to tell his wife but that she loves him and talks to him every night. Er….huh? Blow – up doll?? Imaginary friend? The crowning glory came yesterday. After the usual “I love yous”, she wrote that my husband belongs to her and that even though I took him from her, he would be hers again some day. Add to this the fact that when they were together, she told him she would kill him and any future partner if he ever left her. She was joking……I think :P.

    1. Random Dysfunctions

      Omg!!! That’s insane! I don’t even want to know how she talks to him every night. Wtf?! She sounds like she has serious problems if it’s been THAT long and she’s still not over it. And the fact that she’s still convinced that he’ll be hers one day. Wow, what’s your husband doing about it? Good luck with your situation. She sounds bat-shit crazy. :s
      Joanne recently posted…Ladies, what NOT to do if you’re trying to get laid

      1. skara

        He isn’t really doing anything. He hasn’t replied to her or spoken with her in 4 years :S. That is, except for the 2 or 3 messages to tell her he was married and that even if he wasn’t, it’s over between them. Since September, there have been a few more messages asking if she’s ever going to see him again…maybe when he’s in town next (thank god she lives several hours away!). Other than that, it has cooled down. I don’t know whether to believe that she’s gone for good. There have been cool periods in the past 4 years but she always comes back strong (and crazy) :P. She’s stalking him on LinkedIn but that’s it for now. Hopefully, that’s the end of that. I also hope your situation has resolved itself!

  14. Christy green

    My husband’s ex girlfriend is so obsessed with us. She sends friends to check me out at work to get me fired. She stalks my husband and I threw Facebook she friends my family with fake profiles. She even massages me with fake profiles but never with her own she has about 20 different emails and profiles. My husband in front of me tells her he left her 8 yrs ago to move on but the crazy ex just doesn’t give up. While she’s harassing us she’s harassing another ex boyfriend wife also. She has no life she makes up this stories that are just so petty.

    This woman is so pathetic she even tried getting a restraining order on us she flipped everything she does to us on herself. We went to court but she never showed up. We tried to get an order for her but all they see is a jealous wife and ex girlfriend. So she has the freedom to do has she pleases with her stalking to everyone.

  15. M H Mays

    My husband’s ex’s girlfriends is so obsessed with us. They are pathetic. Both are married and friends now unfortunately not happy. They follow us to funerals, weddings etc. anywhere they can see us. So keep on hating its hilarious.

    1. M H Mays

      They are jealous
      of you thats all

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